"I'd even watch sports with him.."

I feel I am at risk for being slightly pathetic by writing this..  but I like someone.  This feeling, in a way, scares me.  Because it means I can potentially get hurt again.  

Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken..  Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements.

CS Lewis said it best when determining what to do with your heart, but I’m choosing to ignore these wise words I followed almost religiously since my last breakup and risk the pain for another shot at love again.  I miss love.  I miss sharing my life and its containments with someone.

I feel like a giddy high schooler right now.  This is real.  The safety I feel when wrapped up in his arms (for the first time last night) is insanely addicting.  I wish he were right next me to this very moment just so I could burrow myself in the nook under his arm.  I’d be content in that nook for days.  I don’t feel like he’d ever do anything to hurt me.  He is such a genuine, beautiful man in my eyes.  

We kissed last night for the first time and our lips and tongues synced beautifully with each others immediately as if they were meant to be joined.  I was slightly intoxicated, mind you, tiptoeing to wrap my arms around his neck.  Liquid courage masked the shyness this man injects me with, but I medicated myself with too much.  I don’t know how to act around him.  

I like him so much that I’d watch sports with him.  If you know me, this is serious.  I hate sports, but with him (and only him), I’d sit through any kind of ridiculous game for the rest of my life with a smile on my face.  He makes me want to be a better person, because the kind of girl he deserves is a special one.  I want to be that girl for him.  I’d move to the country with him and become completely submerged in an unfamiliar, simple life that contrasts with my current life of designer handbags and fancy home decor.  He and I are opposites.  I love the fact that he isn’t impressed with high-tech cell phones or expensive clothes.  He’s a simple man’s man and it drives me insanely wild.

This may sound crazy..  but perhaps I am back in Kalamazoo for a reason.  Maybe it’s him.  Or maybe I am getting a little too ahead of myself.  Take a deep breath, Brandy. Wait and see.